Grat's 30th Birthday (21.10.05 - 23.10.05)

on the 21.10.05 we hired a 8-seater van and headed up to oxford for a boy's weekend for grat's 30th birthday. i can't remember much at all. but i do recall loads of boozing (that cheap champagne was a bad idea), syncronised snoring (target and dopey), losing my phone (this is a given), grant throwing furniture around our room (why?), target sounding the siren on his megaphone everytime he didn't like the music being played in the van (dude... "chill out" and "tolerance" are the name of the game), grant buying some dodgy cd on dopey's (false) recommendation... and then getting super upset about it... errr... i'm sure other things happened, but i don't really care... and nor does anyone else.



by far the most important event of the weekend however was the clay pigeon shooting. it was a very serious and tense affair... the losing team was sure to lose face big-time and forever be ridiculed... the teams were as follows:

the A team:

spanky
dopey
hobson
myself

the B team:

grat
pedro
target
buffy

the A team started off splendidly... spanky nailing an awesome 9 out of 10. we were soon brought down to earth though when hobson scored 0 out of 10... the instructor dude walking away shaking his head and muttering "i've never seen anything like it" under his breath. it was an embarrasing performance. and myself, dopey and spanky have never laughed so hard as the instructor got more and more frustrated... making hobson shoot left-handed, then at a stationary clay pigeon on the ground 50cm away, then at the instructor himself, then making hobson close his left eye, then his right eye... it carried on and on... and hobson didn't get one direct hit...

anyway... the competition went on, and despite being handicapped by the hapless hobson, the A team managed to stay in touch... just. it all came down to the last set... yours truely needing 7/10 for the draw, 8/10 for the win. i strided forward confidently, and despite the whistles and catcalls from the B team (blatant bad-sportsmanship in my view), i blasted 7 pigeons out of the sky to claim the draw. the B team were miffed... bleating on about cheating and match-fixing and corrupt officials... it sounded like a typical arsene wenger news conference after arsenal lose... pathetic.

but all in all the wend was awesome... thanks to buffy for organising it. and thanks to grat for turning 30... we couldn't have done it without you... hope you had a good one.

Oktoberfest (29.09.05 - 02.10.05)

top ten things to remember:

1. german beer does give you hangovers... it doesn't matter what the local german folk / regular oktoberfesters say... if you drink enough, you will have a thumper... period.

2. it is impossible to get into a beer tent after 10am on the morning of the last saturday of the event... if you arrive after 10am you will sit outside in the rain under a piece of plastic sheeting, dribbling obscenities and remarking on how poor the quality of your life is... you may also find yourself in a discussion about "the inner circle".

3. the fun-fair outside is quite good fun if you are locked outside the beer tents... but not as much fun as the boozing... and don't aim the pellet gun at the crowd... the owner may hurdle the counter of his stall and spear tackle you.

4. avoid over-weight beer-nazi waitresses at all costs when trying to sneak into a tent... just trust me on this one.

5. try to eat some food (not pretzels). a day spent exclusively consuming copious quantities of beer may leave you feeling full... but it is not healthy.

6. pig is tasty.

7. german girls sure do look sexy in traditional german dress... although anything would look good after 27 steins!!!

8. don't lose your passport in your hostel room when you are drunk... your "mate" will find it and attempt to flog it back to you for 50 euro.

9. germans sure do love david hasselhoff...

10. errr... standing and dancing on the tables is very dangerous and should be avoided at all times.

11. oh yeah... also when a stein breaks in your hand and cuts your thumb, it is not a good idea to become blood brothers with one of your dodgy mates. you will wake up in the morning and realise that you could have any number of diseases judging by the rumours of what he got up to while you were away in south america.