like a rolling stone

"the masses think that the power and providence are most clearly demonstrated by events that are extraordinary, and contrary to the conception which they have formed of nature... they suppose, indeed, that god is inactive so long as nature works in her accustomed order; and vice versa, that the power of nature, and natural causes, are idle so long as god is acting; thus they imagine two powers distinct from one another, the power of god and the power of nature."

- spinoza

jeepers. i was starting to feel underwhelmed by nz. couldnt see what all the fuss was about. then i was picked up by two asian ladies at the fox glacier. and together we breezed into queenstown. wind in our hair. smiles on our dials. kooks on the stereo. and 40 gigs worth of low quality photos on their memory cards. its quantity that counts. its the asian genes.

im not saying it was your fault
altho you could have done more
you're so naive yet so

queenstown is pure quality. one of the true greats. up there with must-go places like cuzco, barca, and queensburgh. the buzz is immense. like a brand new vibrator. running off a car battery. there's so much crazy shit going on there. like frisbee golf. its friggin unreal. and the scenery is worldclass. fronted by a lake. backed by mountains. middled by libido. and the ferg burgers are super kiff.

eish. so we had to hit the party. and we duely did. it was a saturday night. had a few drinks at the base bar. base is defo the slut of the hostel world. tempting you in with cheap booze and naked women. i love sluts. its whores i dont like. anyway. hooked up with an irishman who took us boozing. then hopped onto a pub-crawl with an american. (just an aside - the last time i was on a pub-crawl dopey cursed god after dropping his tequila shot. he beat his fists on the bar in pure frustration. he then ranted at the barman. later we ended up being escourted off the premisis by mall security having exposed ourselves to the bouncers and nightclub patrons.)

my mojo is gone. not sure if its temporary. but i just dont feel the beat of the party anymore. so i was just parking cheesy. remembering the days when we used to own clubs like this. absolutely dominate them. when some chicks started chatting to me. they were cool girls. three of them. an englishman, an irishman, and an englishman. pretty friggin hot as well. i wasnt in the mood. but they bought me drinks. and it was awesome. they bounced other dudes. but took me under their collective wing. and when the club closed they moved on somewhere else and pulled me along. when the bouncer didnt want to let me in. they had words. and dragged me in.

it was a quaint little upstairs bar. outside under the stars. fake gas fire burning in the middle of the table. they sat down. i went to get drinks. came back and they were seated around the fire. i went to sit down. but the fart i'd been holding in the whole night sneaked out (my stomach has been horrendus lately). silent. but violent. like a typhoon of propane gas. the fire momentarily flitted out. like the spirits of the dead had briefly passed over us. but then exploded in a fireball and rose into the night sky. there was an awkward silence. i quickly assessed my options and decided upon the "act like nothing happened" approach. my "so... its kinda cosy out here" line didnt really receive a response. the night ended fairly soon afterwards. we didnt exchange contact details.

the next morning the asian girls woke me up early. i was ruff. but their skydiving had been cancelled. so we were off to milford sound. wow. you gotta see this place. as far as natural wonders go - this is at least on a par with camilla. it was however raining heavily again. but honestly. cool place. wish i could have seen it without cloud cover. oh and a learning. a fiord is a valley cut by a glacier that is filled with body of water (this body of water is for some reason called a sound).

anyway. so my kiwi trip continued as usual. activity day, it poured down with rain. as soon as i spent a day travelling on a bus or in a car, bright sunshine. in this way wanaka and mount cook were blurred and blunted by the weather. christchurch also poured down so that i spent my only afternoon there in the hostel dorm. a 38 man dorm. WTF!!!!!! do you know what its like sleeping in a room with 38 strangers. freak me out. anything could be lurking in there. french. jews.

so im winding down my kiwiland tour. heading back to auckland to fly out on monday. i've dropped weight. big time. i blame it on the budget. i've also learned that everyone in the world can play better guitar than me (except frank). even if they only picked up a guit for the first time yesterday.

ps. oh ja. sorry about lack of pics. i forgot to bring the piece of wire camera computer attachment thing with me on tour.

fush and chups

so the south island. its not all rainbows and butterflies. like they would have you believe. its more like rainfall and sandflies. i've been trying to detox. staying off beer and doing long hikes. but every time i put a toe on a track the heavans open. why does it always rain on me? is it because i lied when i was seventeen? great lyrics. and when the sun does flicker, the sandflies suck me dry.

kiwiland has more german tourists than kallis has ducks. the place is friggin packed with them. not sure what it is with german girls tho. there was a whole troup of them staying in the one hostel i was at. i was having breakfast in the common area. and the one comes in. plugs in her hi velocity high power leg razor and starts shaving her legs on the couch. the next one comes in and does the same thing. but then shaves her toes as well. and then her armpits. i choked a little bit on my yoghurt. but then the next chick comes in. giant of a women. brushing her teeth. takes the razor to the bikini line. brought back memories of porto slurping his cereal.

my finances are a little stretched at the mo. so have taken to hitch hiking. on my second journey was picked up by these two smoking young german girls (not the chicks with the razor issues). jussis bru. they were hot. like friggin awesome. but i had just come back from a two day walk in the jungle. no showers. smelling a bit ripe. so they kept having to open the windows. hahaha. was a little embarrassing. they didnt ask me up for a threesome.

yeah anyway. so south island round-up. picton was awesome. very picturesque. queen charlotte track boring. motueka nice and chilled. abel tasman track miserable. raining. sandflies. nelson cool. fox glacier was cooler. some awesome views. the copland track was friggin quality. hot pools and the hot chicks in the hot pools definitely scored some extra points. off to queenstown next.

wus gunna try talk un kuwi. but runnung out of time. wull guve ut u go nuxt time.

kiwiland

if you want a jol. kiwi is the place. base is the backpackers to stay in. kiwe experience is the bus to catch. the green one. known locally as the fuck truck. jeepers creepers. i try to avoid these. as well as the bungy jumping. the excitement is too much for me. and the chicks are too young. actually, im lying. chicks can never be too young.

i flew into auckland from melbourne. bumped into simple guy little at the airport. cool to see the oke after a 3 year dry spell. was in auckland for an evening. met some irish okes in a pub. had a few pints. and joined them on a road trip the next day. along with a sing girl i know.

we went up north. cape reinga was pretty awesome. great deserted beach. and some nice waves. the party at the hostel was real good as well. altho they watered down the beer. i know this because i woke up without a hangover. i never do that now days. we drove south. and then east to coromandel. nice. but crap weather. we shot down to rotorua. cool place. but stinks. thermal hot baths were good. what is it with asians and hot baths. they love that shit. sitting there in steaming public baths. speedos. squinting contently. hard brown nipples. anyway, the party at the hostel was real good as well. they didnt water down the beers. i know this cos i had a hangover the next day. hamilton was next. we spent most of the time in the hospital. looked like a good uni town though. back to auckland.

nz so far was ok. i guess. but seemed a bit grey. lots of cloud cover. aus much better. all that changed when i got to wellington. southern most point of the north island. surrounded by green hills. and fronted by a silvery harbour. very pretty city. also nz 7s was on at the time. place was buzzing. and it also has a very interesting museum. honestly. im not a good tourist. but this museum, eish, quality. very interactive. also did a few walks. then picked up the ferry to picton (north of south island). and here i am. all alone. detoxing. in the cool air and greenery. doing a trek tomo. the queen charlotte sounds track. 3 days. its friggin cold. im camping. and cooking. gonna be tough. but at least i have no access to the spurs result. right.

rewind: melbourne was cool. nice to sleep in a bed after a 6 week van tour. didnt get up to much though. other than the aussie tennis open. go fed. the greatest saffa player of all time. yes he is saffa. trust me. i've checked. and now even the aussies admit it. also saw prince wills. what a legend. was trapping over to the tennis. when i saw a group of young hot screaming chicks. naturally i went over to investigate. and there he was. got close enough to be able to slap his bald spot. i started sweating. and screaming. i am a true prince wills groupie now.