holydays: travels in the east #2

arriving in bangkok from singapore is a bit like arriving in a shit-hole. locals call this shit-hole “the city of angels”. most other folks call it “bangkok”. bangkok - a city of neon lights and huge billboards. bangkok - a crazy hot, bustling city. bangkok - a city with no traffic control. there is nothing elegant here. on the surface anyway. any elegance was papered over long ago by crazy-ass commercial insanity. apparently pagoda’s and temples once littered the skyline. now all that litters the skyline is car fumes and a thick brown smog.

is the city i live in
the city of angels?

i arrived in bangkok on four separate occasions. and it sure does grow on you. probably because arriving in bangkok from cambodia is a bit like arriving in... err... the most modern place in the world ever. with tarred roads and hot showers and 7 eleven’s and shit. and i grew to like the place. unlike singapore, there sure is something dynamic about this place. the metaphysics of quality man. dynamic quality... the leading edge of evolution.

i stayed in khao san road. you’re not a backpacker until you’ve been to khao san road. apparently. but i say you can be anything. if you really really want to. reach for the stars. a universe of potential is within you. afterall, you are the product of four billion years of evolution. don’t waste it man. buddha knows it took a totally sick amount of time to produce you. anyway, scruffy bohemian folks with big bushy red beards and baggy orange pants and anklets are also the product of four billion years of evolution and they own khao san road. that’s the type of place it is. weird hippy shit happens there.

my living quarters consisted of a cardboard box and a bed. “box-room” would be an apt description. it sure is cosy. you can hear people snoring in the next room when you go to sleep. you can also hear other things sometimes. hmmm.

so... touristy bangkok consists of wats and pagoda’s and buddha’s. and markets man. everywhere you look there’s a market. food markets. night markets. clothing markets. amulet markets. there’s even markets in the shopping centres. huge floors full of markets. selling loads of legal illegal stuff. bangkok must be a musician’s / film maker’s worst nightmare. nightmare on khao san road.

three days into my bangkok experience i decided to get out of town. i wanted to see tigers. so the tourist info sent to see the bridge over the river kwai. not surprisingly, it looks a lot like a bridge... over a big brown river... named kwai. then i went on a train ride – why?. then they sent me on an elephant safari - around some mango trees in someone’s backyard. note: i don’t recommend the elephant treks in thailand – i got the sense that they treated the elephants really poorly. which is a shame. cos they are such lovely creatures. after that headed to a waterfall, stayed the night on a boat house, and rafted down a river. no tigers. bastards.

but no worries. it was time to party. and time for the islands.

holydays: travels in the east #1

being in singapore is like being back in the “good old days” of british colonialism. we socialized in well-to-do wine bars. we relaxed in spa baths at the singapore “badminton” club. we dined at plush five star hotels. we danced at swish night clubs. we swigged pink champagne from imperial roof-top establishments whilst panoramic views hung from the glass windows like giant paintings in... errr... some very famous museum. martini’s, cosmopolitans, appletini’s, tequila sunrises, singapore slingers, bottles of vodka, and super expensive beers in chilled glasses. lobster tails, crayfish, caviar, rare-steak rolls, and white chocolate fondue’s. i felt like i was back in the 19th century. i was expecting to wake up in the morning, put on a safari suit, pick up a rifle, and head out into the jungle to shoot myself a tiger.

i didn’t really do much of the touristy shit in sing. i lived the life of an expat local. it is my preferred choice. see how the locals live. find out how a place operates. breathe in the native energy.

so i arrived on a friday. 3pm. there was just enough time for a five hour nap before i headed off to meet pete, pam, and dangerous dan for a night out on the town. we ate satay and drank tiger beer at some or other food court and then cruised down to the river to take our place amongst the elite. soon enough we were drunk. and landed up in a bar on the 179th floor of a building. pete bought champagne. pete never buys champagne. clearly singapore is a special city. delusions of grandeur sweep through the brain. and why shouldn’t they? we were royalty!!!

we headed to a bar in the marriot hotel. classy joint. i met and had interesting conversations with high-class prostitutes from russia and thailand. they made me feel special. prostitutes sure are good for the ego. then, acting on advice from an ex-work colleague (we’ll call him mike – because that is his name... and i want to give him the credit for finding the place), we stumbled into a place called “the four floors of whores”. great name. simple, but effective. no confusion to be had. i don’t usually get much attention... but here pretty girls clung to me like i was the risen messiah. it was heaven. but in heaven sex before marriage is frowned upon. so i left empty handed. goddman the ten commandments.

the next morning we stopped off at a buddhist temple hoping for a glimpse of the future and a touch of good luck. i was nervous about my solo travels and asked about them. kneeling on the mat, i threw the bamboo sticks and tossed the fish. the pink slip i received in return contained the words: IT IS A GOOD TIME FOR TRAVEL. freaky but true. but it was as gooder omen as any i had ever received. it had a calming effect on me. i was ready to travel ace out.

that afternoon we visited the singapore “badminton” club. i had heard about the infamous eastern "rub and tug" routine and was hoping for more of the same. but, unfortunately, it was all above board (so to speak). i did get stood on and walked on though. the chick even did the splits on my back. we relaxed in the hot tubs. and drank green tea. and ate food. and i managed to block one of the two toilets in the place. the local folks saw me coming out of the toilet sweating. they shook their heads and frowned. the eastern cuisine had not been good on my stomach.

sat night was more of the same. we caught the super 14 semi-finals - come on you sharks. and then clubbed at the ministry of sound. there sure were a lot of sexy looking oriental girls there. i was happy.

sunday we had breakfast at the fullerton hotel. i was hung and had sausage and bacon and mushrooms and fried tomato and scrambled egg and a double portion of baked beans. the other folks had the lobster and crayfish, etc. i felt common. but we got drunk on the free cocktails and soon we were belting out (super cheesy) karaoke hits at dan’s house. sentosa (the beach island) was the destination for sundowners. and that was then end of my weekend in singapore. quality.

i also had a few nights in sing on my way back to sa. we dined and drank in yet more posh restaurants and bars with neil, lily, naresh, dan, and the lovely marcelle. pete and pam sure do have a cool social circle going. also caught up with porto who was over in sing on business. goddman high-flying swine!!! i arrived at the airport for my flight home (2am) super drunk and wrote that dodgy post below. then i flew home.

so final impressions of sing: it sure is a modern city. more western than most actual western cities. and there sure is a strict set of social values in place there. this results in a very ordered way of life. and no crime. which is good. at the same time there seems to be a very strong set of intellectual values in place. they are at the forefront of technological progression. which is good.

however there is still something missing. and i can’t really put my finger on it. perhaps it is that these social and intellectual values are too strict. too static. limited scope to move. there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of dynamic quality around. the metaphysics of quality man!!! dynamic quality... the leading edge of evolution. art, music, literature. you wouldn’t want to be an artist in sing. it is not the most creative place. and sometimes without this creative force a place may grow stagnant and suffocate. but then i'm just speculating here. and i’m probably being grossly unfair having hung around in elitist establishments for the entire time. god bless modernisation and capitalism!!!

neil, porto, myself, and pete at a roof-top bar about two minutes before i was due at the airport to fly home

myself and the lovely marcelle (and lily's legs)

marcelle sure could dance... and she was pretty damn good at psycho-analysis too

yup... i sure was boozed

pete, the lovely marcelle, and lily

neil, pete, and myself outside the "badminton" club awaiting our "rub and tug"

pete, dan, and myself at the fullerton

pam at home... 32 sophia court... it has a very nice communal swimming pool outside

boozed

i am super boozed. spent the night drinking martinis and then beer at some super to-do clubs in hotels aND CLUBS IN singapore. crazy ass. we got fre3 steak rolls in the first venue aS WELL. goddamn... i keep on hitting the caps lock button. am so sad to be leaving pete ad porto and neil and dan and lily and others. also met a really c ool girl nAMED MARCEL. but she's hooked up. all the best girls i meet are hooked up. it's a goddamn sshame. i'vegot sooooo much love to give. i think. anyway. i'[ve had a super holiday. it's `1aM INB THE MORNING. AND I'VE DRANK A SHIOT LOAD. goddamn those caplocks. i hope you all find love someday. i hope i find love someday. it's gonna be the longest flight ever. about 24hrs. why aM I SUCH A CHEWAP SKATE?????????

remember... when selfishness truely hurts... then the path is easy.

holydays

it is my last night in bangkok. it is effectively my last night as a "traveler". it is quite sad. in fact it is super sad. i was really scared when i was heading here. but it has been fine. and i've even had fun at times. actually i've had loads of fun. been to some really beautiful places. and some not so beautiful places. met some really great folks. and some knobs. actually i haven't met any knobs. everyone i have met has been super friendly. and unique. and special. i have had some cool parties. and plenty of time to chill and read good books. five weeks. six books. lila. the green hills of africa. shantaram. fiesta. tuesday's with morrie. shantaram counts as two books - it is over 900 pages long. but a great book. i've despaired. but i've pulled through. and i have the most awesome memories to take back. i am sad. but i shouldn't be sad. for everything is written in the soul of the world. and there shall it remain forever.

i head back to singapore tomo to catch up with pete and porto. and then fly out on friday to south africa to attend greg and gail's wedding and then my sister's wedding the following wend. then back to londres.

and remember - a wise traveler once told me - everyday is a holyday.

do you speak fwench?

i was chatting to this fwench girl i met at the guesthouse in phnom penh and she asked me the following question: "are you on holiday or are you travelling?" the question caught me a bit by surprise and i wasn't really sure what she was on about, so i replied: "errr... umm... i'm on holiday. how about you?" she lifted her head, peered down her nose and said: "oh no! i finished university four months ago and now i'm travelling." and that's where the conversation ended.

i thought she was being a bit snooty at first. but the question stuck in my mind and it bothered me a little. so i studied it: i came to the conclusion that "holiday" is a temporary break from routine. a power-nap to recharge batteries. "travelling" however comes with deeper connotations of "the search" or that one is trying to "find" oneself.

with regards to "travelling" and "the search" and "finding" oneself it is important to realise that the answers probably won't be found in the places you go to or the people you meet. these factors may assist you to find the answers, but in the end the truth lies within yourself and that's where "the search" needs to begin and end. and it is the sheer avalanche of time available whilst travelling that allows you to really get into the nuts and bolts of self discovery.

the key to travelling i think is to not try to fit too much in. kick back and relax. chill out. leave plenty of time to observe and reflect. preferably from the comfort of some elitist establishment where you can watch the peasants go about their meaningless daily routines.

i take a drink, sit back and relax
smoke my mind, makes me feel better for it small time
what i want is what i've not got
but what i need is all around me

alrighty

some tame / dodgy pics from koh samui. two nights after the halfmoon party. one night after the escape party. we sure were buggered.

the only female in the pics is a french lady whose name i can't pronounce. i therefore called her mary. she is an auditor and works very long hours when she is not on holiday. mary took these photo's and put them on flickr.

the dude with the red shirt is an australian bosnian dude named elvis. i travelled with him for a bit and had a good laugh. he is currently in london having spent a week in brighton. he likes dancing and cute boys.

there are two other dudes in the first picture. they are swedish and were on holiday from leadership school. peter and lulu. they like to drink a whole lot. they are also very friendly people.

the other feminine looking dude in the pictures is me. just plain dave.

splendid

i must say, i am rather liking cambodia at the mo. it is a really pleasant place to be and the chaps here are just swell. they have smiley eyes and a hearty genuine laugh. they potter around in their daily lives doing what cambodians do, and having a damned good time doing it. and they're not just looking to make a quick buck out of you. they just want to learn english. and the food here is good. it contains a lot of coconut milk and it is not as spicey as thai food. it compliments my stomach well. as does the angkor beer. it is very nice (when it is cold). cambodia really is jolly splendid.

cambodians have had quite a rough time in the recent past. the extremely violent khmer rouge regime massacered over 2 million people between 1975 and 1979. it was rather uncivil of pol pot (the khmer rouge leader) to murder that many people. they used to make people climb trees. those that reached the top were seen as peasants and were useful for working the fields. those that didn't reach the top were seen as intellectuals and were useful for fertilising the fields - even the intellectuals had their uses, pol pot said. in order to save bullets they used to bludgeon the people to death with blunt objects. and they did this in the name socialism. goddamn crazy swine.

so i am in battambang at the mo. got here via a very scenic but very long 7hr boat ride from siem riep. there is not a hell of a lot to do here. except kick back and relax and read books and drink beer and eat quality cambodian food. jolly good show.

cambodia

crossing from thailand into cambodia is like crossing from south africa into zim; or from chile into bolivia; or from england into errr... wales. paved roads become pot-holed dirt tracks. bricked houses become stilted wooded dwellings sheltering used tractor tyres and plastic buckets and pieces of blue and red pipe and broken bicyles and wooden planks and all sorts of other shit. older folks squat on the side of the side of the road chewing grass, absent looks on their faces, just observing, probably because they don't really have anything better to do. children run around, all smiles, swishing sticks and throwing stones and waving at the passing busses. packs of maingy dogs saunter from shack to shack looking for scraps to feed on. gotta love the rural 3rd world.

oh my god
i can't believe it
i've never been
this far away from home

then you hit siem riep - suddenly roads are paved and loads of 5 star hotels spring up all around you. clean and slick and modern and impressive. very tempting. until you see the price per night. $150/night and rising steadily. goddamn. those korean package tourists sure are doing well. i guess i'll have to stick with my $4/night accomodation. basic. but i get my own fan.

the first day and a half i did a the angkor temple tour. they say you need at least 3 days to do the temples. but i was all templed out after the first day. don't get me wrong - they sure are impressive... in fact i would say that angkor wat is probably the pick of the temple ruins that i have seen in the whole world ever (although macchu picchu is still my favourite simply due to it's location in god's cradle). but once you've seen one, you've pretty much seen them all. kinda like a boob. well that is my opinion anyway.

but there is one other impressive thing in siem riep: if you have ever driven the garden route in south africa you will have come across a sign with the words "the big tree". if you get out there and take a 500m walk into the forest, you will find a big-ass tree. it has a massive trunk. and it is like 1km tall. well... in cambodia there are hundreds of the fuckers. everywhere you look. gigantic branched organisms with leaves and roots and seeds. and they are super tall. and they have often grown onto and into the temples and absorbed some of the stonework like huge gnarled hands. pretty friggin amazing.

anyway - must go.

oh yeah - happy 30th bday hobbo for the 7th. hope you had a great day bro. lekker bly.

shantaram

for this is what we do. put one foot forward and then the other. lift our eyes to the snarl and smile of the world once more. think. act. feel. add our little consquence to the tides of good and evil that flood and drain the world. drag our shadowed crosses into the hope of another night. push our brave hearts into the promise of a new day. with love: the passionate search for a truth other than our own. with longing: the pure, ineffable yearning to be saved. for so long as fate keeps waiting, we live on. god help us. god forgive us. we live on.

mayonnaise

apologies folks for the lack of posts and my mental condition over the past week or so. as you can see from my previous post the heat really got to me. infact, it was driving me insane. the place i had in ko phangan only had a fan. a quick learning: if you ever ever in the whole histroy of the world ever hire a room in ko phangan, make sure it has air-conditioning. otherwise you will go mental. trust me. i know. i was there man. i'm tellin' ya. it was friggin crazy man.

everything was warm. the fruit was warm. the water was warm. the bed was warm. my deodorant was warm. my toothpaste was warm. even the music was warm - i couldn't bear to put my ipod on. the room was a friggen sauna. it was soooo hot - even the scando's looked average. even the lovely camilla (praise be to allah) was not as hot as ko phangan.

this supernatural warmth accompanied me (along with heatstroke and dehydration) to the fullmoon party - of which i will write about later. the day following the fullmoon party i developed a seriously infectected throat. thereafter my tongue swelled with millions of small white ulsers to fill the gap between the top and the bottom of my mouth. then, just for good measure, my wisdom teeth started to push on through my gums and squeeze the teeth at the front of my mouth until they were super tender to the touch.

i was in agony. and everything was warm. and i had syrupy bacterial-spoiled rotten-meat-tasting saliva drooling out my mouth because i couldn't swallow and i couldn't spit. and it was warm man. that saliva. warm. goddammit. and i couldn't eat anything. and i battled to drink. and i had the shivers. and the shakes. and hot flushes. and warm flushes. and i took warm showers. to cool my body temp.

in the end i lost lots of time. and a dive trip to ko tao. and a ton of weight. and some of my tan. and a little of my sanity. but i pulled through guys. i pulled through. and it's strange the little things you thing of when you're near death. pinky. and cheetarah. and bushy. and sasha and bong. and digging trenches man. like loads of them. for no purpose at all. and then there's like this white light man. and your whole life flashes before your eyes. and the soul of the world rushes through you. like rain. like a torrential downpour. and it's so soothing brother (praise be to the laughing buddha).

anyway, enough of that. i'm back in bangkok now. and off to cambodia on friday. and i think i'll be okay. as long as i get an air-conditioned room. and a good book.

drive away and its the same
everywhere death row, everyones a victim
your joys are counterfeit
this happiness corrupt political shit
living life like a comatose
ego loaded and swallow

(feel my pain!!!)