fush and chups

so the south island. its not all rainbows and butterflies. like they would have you believe. its more like rainfall and sandflies. i've been trying to detox. staying off beer and doing long hikes. but every time i put a toe on a track the heavans open. why does it always rain on me? is it because i lied when i was seventeen? great lyrics. and when the sun does flicker, the sandflies suck me dry.

kiwiland has more german tourists than kallis has ducks. the place is friggin packed with them. not sure what it is with german girls tho. there was a whole troup of them staying in the one hostel i was at. i was having breakfast in the common area. and the one comes in. plugs in her hi velocity high power leg razor and starts shaving her legs on the couch. the next one comes in and does the same thing. but then shaves her toes as well. and then her armpits. i choked a little bit on my yoghurt. but then the next chick comes in. giant of a women. brushing her teeth. takes the razor to the bikini line. brought back memories of porto slurping his cereal.

my finances are a little stretched at the mo. so have taken to hitch hiking. on my second journey was picked up by these two smoking young german girls (not the chicks with the razor issues). jussis bru. they were hot. like friggin awesome. but i had just come back from a two day walk in the jungle. no showers. smelling a bit ripe. so they kept having to open the windows. hahaha. was a little embarrassing. they didnt ask me up for a threesome.

yeah anyway. so south island round-up. picton was awesome. very picturesque. queen charlotte track boring. motueka nice and chilled. abel tasman track miserable. raining. sandflies. nelson cool. fox glacier was cooler. some awesome views. the copland track was friggin quality. hot pools and the hot chicks in the hot pools definitely scored some extra points. off to queenstown next.

wus gunna try talk un kuwi. but runnung out of time. wull guve ut u go nuxt time.