Oktoberfest (29.09.05 - 02.10.05)

top ten things to remember:

1. german beer does give you hangovers... it doesn't matter what the local german folk / regular oktoberfesters say... if you drink enough, you will have a thumper... period.

2. it is impossible to get into a beer tent after 10am on the morning of the last saturday of the event... if you arrive after 10am you will sit outside in the rain under a piece of plastic sheeting, dribbling obscenities and remarking on how poor the quality of your life is... you may also find yourself in a discussion about "the inner circle".

3. the fun-fair outside is quite good fun if you are locked outside the beer tents... but not as much fun as the boozing... and don't aim the pellet gun at the crowd... the owner may hurdle the counter of his stall and spear tackle you.

4. avoid over-weight beer-nazi waitresses at all costs when trying to sneak into a tent... just trust me on this one.

5. try to eat some food (not pretzels). a day spent exclusively consuming copious quantities of beer may leave you feeling full... but it is not healthy.

6. pig is tasty.

7. german girls sure do look sexy in traditional german dress... although anything would look good after 27 steins!!!

8. don't lose your passport in your hostel room when you are drunk... your "mate" will find it and attempt to flog it back to you for 50 euro.

9. germans sure do love david hasselhoff...

10. errr... standing and dancing on the tables is very dangerous and should be avoided at all times.

11. oh yeah... also when a stein breaks in your hand and cuts your thumb, it is not a good idea to become blood brothers with one of your dodgy mates. you will wake up in the morning and realise that you could have any number of diseases judging by the rumours of what he got up to while you were away in south america.