5th South American Email - 15.06.05

stupac (23.05.05 - 12.06.05)

hola chicco`s y chicca`s

hope all is good... sorry for another long mail.

my last email left you in lapaz... having just tortured ourselves in order to quell the pain of steve´s departure. the agony didn´t end there however... on monday we decided to climb a mountain, a very big mountain, in the country. standing over 6000m high and weighing in at well over 100million tons, it was a big ask. to cut a loooonnngggg journey short... we cramponed up snowy passes, ice-picked up 50 degree glaciers, and roped in with two french super-hero`s to summit this beast just after the birth of the most beautiful sunrise ever. however some advice for those of you thinking of climbing a very big mountain... don´t do it... go and have a beer instead...it´s much more enjoyable.

upon our victorious return, we were interviewed by a young, up and coming south african journalist, kurly kooksister... due to the lack of detail above, the bored ones amongst you may wish to read the article... if so (and the total number of requests i`m expecting here is one... mom don`t let me down), email me and i will forward the article to you.

upon our return to lapaz we soon learned that the social unrest had grown ten-fold... blockades and riots everywhere... tourists flocking to get out. the unrest is due to multi-national corporations raping the 3rd world and it`s inhabitants of their natural resourses... and the people don´t like it!!! a recent change in legislation to increase taxes and appease the people was not seen as radical enough and action was intensified(reports of vehicles being blown up with dynamite should they attempt to pass blockades were frequent). the faceless conglomerates have countered by taking the bolivian government to some or other international court... what price another triumph of human greed over human morality?

we have just learned however, that the bolivian president has been ousted and his successor has apparently been given three days to make the necessary changes or more action is planned. it´s crazy... but you gotta admire the people for having a voice... western society appears to have become lazy and blindly accepts whatever is thrown at it by the powers that be. anyway...six countries visited, two government coups... not bad going.

we managed to secure a flight to sucre and left at about 5am the next morning to avoid the blockades. sucre provided us with the first opportunity to meet girls since steve left, and we were determined to make the most of it. the victims were a friendly, but older, english girl and a prettier (if you didn´t have your eyes in) canadian girl. we went to dinner with them...we never saw them again. a learning... when trying to impress a canadian girl, never, under any circumstances, ask any of the following questions...

1. do you get beaver in canada?
2. are polar bears just albino grizzly bears?
3. are you aware that the canadian cricket team has a cult following in south africa?... and then spend the next 3hrs trying to convince her that it does.

so we bussed out to potosi... previously (approx 350 - 400 yrs ago) the richest city in the world due to one big hill that produced loads of silver. so much silver was mined in fact, that it underwrote the spanish economy for two centuries and enabled the monetary system to be fully implemented in europe.

i am rich potosi,
the treasure of the world...
and the envy of kings.

the mine was shut down by the government in the 1980´s due to the lack of profitablilty, but independent miners still work there and the working conditions are just as bad, if not worse, than your average accounting job(the average miner´s life expectancy is ten years from the day he enters the mine... the average accountant´s mental sanity usually lasts for a similar period of time). so we took a tour... caught them on a religious holiday... some old testament style sacrificing ceremony had taken place and the whole place was drenched with lama blood... so we bought some dynamite and blew stuff up... because we could... chewed some coca leaves... and sampled some of the local brew (apparently it´s like 90% alcohol)... then entered the mine... the booze was a better experience.

then it was off to uyuni for a salt flats tour... it was very cold...and white... and full of salt... and was prob more of a one day game that the three day game we embarked on...

but we endured it as we needed to get to chile... the promised land with beach, sea, sun, cervecas, parties, and a supermarket (you have no idea how central those things are to western culture until you don´t see one for a month).

so some final thoughts /observations concerning bolivia...

1. all traditional women are attached to a multicoloured cloth substance that hangs around their necks and over their back... no exceptions. this phenomonem raises two obvious questions in any foreigner´s mind... why are these attachments so brightly coloured?... generally speaking, nature endows the male gender with bright colours in order to attract the female... is this therefore a new evolutionary path?... a more advanced species?...a mutant gene perhaps?... freaky. the second, and most pressing question, is what do these strange attachments contain?... no-one seems to know...personal belongings?... remanents of lost inca civilisations?... a cure for aids?... the key to the entire universe?... hmmm... mysterious. there are things known, and there are things unknown, and in between there are the doors.

2. when bus companies say their bus is ¨directo¨... it is not. it will stop precisely every 127 metres along the way... resulting in the 60km journey taking 45mins longer than the 5hr journey time stated at the bus terminal. reasons for these stops are numerous... in order pick up passengers, to let the co-pilot relieve himself, to let the driver have a chat to his mate on the side of the road, because each of the digits in 127 is a prime number, or because 127 itself is a prime number (actually i`m just speculating here... err, porto please calculate and confirm).

3. if ever you are bored, just mozy down to the local plaza or square and watch the street procession or fiesta that is taking place... they take place 24hrs a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, for the exact number of years that the planet has been in existence... and they are guarenteed to keep you occupied for a few hrs. if, by some slight chance, there is no procession, it is probably because the locals are rioting... but don`t stress... that makes pretty good viewing too.


4. no public fountains work... ever.

so to chile... the promised land... that promised much... and delivered. additional bonuses included paragliding and... err, actually that was the only additional bonus... but a fairly good one... oh, and we also had a superb braai (bbq).

final notes on chile... it sure is desert-like... prob because it is a desert... but they have good wine... but don´t buy the cheap stuff... because it gives you a serious thumper the next day.

after three days basking in the sun in chile, we headed into peru to start the last leg of our journey. we pretty much cruised up the peruvian southwest coast. destinations included:

arequipa (awesome colonial type town, backdropped by a towering set of mountains... nothing new there then),

colca canyons (twice as deep as the grand canyon and home to some awesomely huge birds... though not quite as big as the bird that dragged frank out of 54 that one time),




nasca (my cap floating around the cockpit was more impressive than the lines),


ica (a desert oasis town where we sandboarded, dune-buggied, cerveca-ed, braai-ed, scando-ed, sun-ed, chilled, and watched the biggest red sun in the world set over an infinite amount of duned sand),




lima (and some dodgy going on´s in a few less-than-straight nightclubs).

thankfully for you guys i will leave it there... suffice to say, a quick comment on the newest member of team sa is necessary.

as some of you will know, a certain stuart butler was recruited in arequipa. don´t get me wrong, it is great to have him with us, but he is by no means adirect replacement for "simple guy" little. instead of aquiring a prosthetic arm, we have had cosmetic surgery of sorts... a face-lift perhaps... or breast implants if you will. now although breast implants don´t have the same practical uses as an arm, they do have their own advantages... for instance, breast implants are way better to look at than an arm, and they definitely make us more attractive to strangers. they also keep you company when you are lonely at night... so, as you can imagine, we are superhappyto have him tagging along.

if you got this far you will be ecstatic to know that this is my pen-ultimate email of our tour... only one more to endure... keep the faith.

later
d

we used to laugh under the covers,
though not so often now.
the way i used to laugh with you,
was long and hard.