Night out in Lima - continued (11.06.2005)

alright so to finish the story...

i am standing there... the only gringo dude in a nightclub full of bodybuilders pulling the sweetest ballerina moves you will ever see... chick has stormed off cos i have lipstick marks on my neck... and i don´t know how to get home, cos don´t know the area i live in... also no money... except the kitty... but could never betray my moral values to use this money for personal reasons... i am the kitty holder after all. fck!!!!

so standing around protecting my ass... and wondering whether i should perhaps do a bit of sweet talking to try and organise a lift home... maybe with the promise of something to come (excuse the pun) and then get stuart and pete to help me wangle out of the situation... then... god smiled... and the chick came back from somewhere apparently having forgiven me... but wanting to go to another club. reluctantly agreed... walked outside and was light... found out time was 7.30am. then found out we were going out with the trans-sexual / transvestite that had approached me earlier and some other nerdier gay dude. what were the odds we were heading for a straight club?

my suspicions were confirmed when a huge black dude with rippling biceps (almost as big as your`s grant) and gold chains was introduced to me as "frankie". okay... so i take a seat with my back to the wall... and sip on my beer... watching about 200 dudes dance to ¨where is the love?". i was shocked at how promiscuous these people are... it`s not like a normal club where you kiss a girl a night (except pearce of course)... but these guys swap partners every time the song changes... and the more macho the dude the more sub-servient he seems to be. and they love transexuals... the guy we were with got plenty of interest... prob cause he was doing some real `britney spears`shake-your-ass type moves on the dancefloor. don´t mean to be modest, but i´m sure this dude was infatuated with me... every time i went to the loo, he was there, asking me to go into the cubicle... and when i left with the chick, it was like world war 3... shouting and screaming and crying and mind games.

anyway so we leave (10.30am)... mighty relieved to survive with my virginity in tact. my mind swings around to other things... where as before it was self preservation... now it was self maximisation... i hadn´t been cruising around puckering my asshole the whole night just to give some mr t look-a-like a tighter, more pleasing experience. so we head to the girls flat... the longest trip ever... taxi gets lost... only place in south america where there are robots... and we hit every one of them... then locked out of hotel... chick has to wander off to get key... eventually get into room... the most untidiest room i`ve ever seen (and most of you guys have seen my room)... have to move a pile of junk off the bed... settle down... get kissing... then chick reckons she needs to brush her teeth... okay, good idea. comes back. i reckon... well maybe i should freshen up as well... i`m a considerate person. toilet... have a leak... squirt some toothpaste in my mouth... splash some water on my face... yeah i`m ready!!! burst back into the room... and chick is asleep. fck!!!

so go to sleep... wake up some time and remember im supposed to catch a bus with pete and stuart out of town this afternoon... not a clock in the place so try to guess... prob about 1pm. chick wakes up and we chat... and kiss... and chat... and kiss... and i´m getting worried about the time... but chick says it´s early... please stay 30mins more... and i stay, hooked by the lure of future dabbles here and there... chat... kiss... chat... kiss... i need to go... chick goes out to check the time... okay it`s 2pm, as long as i`m gone buy 2.30pm should make the bus... chat... kiss... chat... should go now... no she won`t let me go... how many other girls you going to kiss? none of course... i don`t believe you and she grabs my neck and sucks... and sucks... and she`s still sucking and i can`t get her off... physco... eventually get her off... no mirror so cant check the damage. gather my stuff and make my escape... out the room... out the front door of the hotel... gate door is locked... cant get back into hotel... sht... no option but to scale the 10ft outside wall with spikes on top. hit the top and people in the street are looking at me funny... jump down. ask a street vendor the time... 5.45pm... fck!!! physco chick... deliberately lied to keep me there. gonna miss my bus... have to use kitty to catch taxi... desparate times. taxi driver looks at me funny. back to hostel about 6.15pm. pete and stu have checked out... hostel owner checks at me funny. oh well... i`ll just have to get some food... food dude looks at me funny. internet... find out pete hasn`t left yet... internet dude looks at me funny. meet an aussie dude in the street... what the fck is that on your neck, did you get beaten up?... what thing... memory recall... the sucker... find mirror... the biggest, blackest bruise/hicky in my neck ever. found pete and stu and caught bus.

so the biggest bonus is that i am still a virgin in my bum... but emerged from the scandle tired, hungry and frustrated with the worst case of blue balls you´ve ever known (was battling to walk upright at one stage) and a huge hicky guarenteeing that no chica is going to go near me for the next 3 mths.

hope you guys had a good wend.

later
d