Night out in Lima (11.06.2005)

hey chaps,

just had a crazy saturday night... it´s 7.30 on sunday night and only got home an hour ago. lima... you gotta love it... if you ever want to beat a drought, this is the place to go... but beware the terrential downpour.

had a heavy thurs night at the oasis... then a big fri night at the oasis (only approx 2hrs sleep). so sat was always gonna go downhill. met 2 american mates at the hostel for drinks... drank some beer. then out to the´bierhaust´... had some beers... then some jd... then some beers... then some more beers. suddenly (actually they were always there - but the word suddenly brings some sort of emphasis to the situation) there were a 100million girls around all gagging for it... it was too easy so i was thinking of opting out. but desparate times call for desparate measures...so after the 7th time the german dude told me that some chica wanted to meet me, i decided it couldn´t hurt to have a look (it was prob more the beers taking hold). this chick turned out to not be so bad... peruvian chick with blonde hair and blue eyes (prob both fake... but def fooled me in my desparate drunken state).

so with a click of her fingers and with a smidgen of a kiss i was hooked... and soon dropped my mates to follow her to another club (i´m a sucker for punishment... i should have learned from numerous prior occassions where things go bad after dropping mates). so this club looked decent enough... we were just chilling watching the dancefloor... when i noticed 2 boys kissing... hmmm... okay then. then a trans-sexual / transvestite walks up to the table and starts to talk to me in spanish... chick translates... turns out he wants to kiss me... what an opportunity to end my drought!!!... but i declined... wasn´t drunk enough.

anyway so i soon notice i am the only gringo is this less-than-straight jol. chick cruises off to dance with her gay mates. figure i´m still in a good position... will just mozy over to the banos to pass the time. so taking a leak in urinal... look around... there is a chick (poss a boy dressed as a chick) like 2 cm from my face just staring... she says something and points down... whole bathroom laughs... have no idea whats she´s on about, other than prehaps my extremely modest size... just smile... whole bathroom on tenterhooks, can cut the tension with the swish of a masochists whip. there it was... the first move... chick dives in... i duck out and she plants a smacker on my neck... okay time to get out. push my way through the staring crowd of boys and out onto the dancefloor. find chick... tell her what happened... can´t explain properly in spanish... gets mad at me for kissing other girls... storms out. great, alone in a less than straight club in the middle of lima with the biggest motherfckers you´ve ever seen with stubble and tattoos prancing around like fairies holding hands and kissing passionately. cursing myself, dont know the name of the area where i stay.

sorry have to go... pete and stuart arrived for supper... may finish the story later if you´re interested.

am i or am i not still a virgin in my bum?

laters