1st South American Email - 12.04.2005

Hola (31.03.05 - 09.04.05)

hola from buenos aires,

apologies in advance for this beast of a mail... you may need 3/4 weeks to reach the end.

south america has been kind to us so far... the sun has been shining (for the most part) and the scandanavian women have been plentiful. before i get into what we have been getting up to, let me give you a run down of the current mindset of team south america.

despite numerous warnings (from people with the calibre of target and buffy), stephen "i´m a simple guy" little has yet to get us killed, beaten up or thrown in some dodgy brazilian jail... yet. you get the feeling steve is on this holiday for only two things... to pull chicks... and to buy a panama hat.

pete biggs is as happy as punch and were it not for him the admin side of the trip would have gone pear shaped by now... we would probably still be in rio. you get the feeling that pete is on this trip for one main reason... travel adventure.

me, i have yet to contribute anything to the trip so far besides getting my feet got sooo burnt on the first day that it looked as if i had two peices of crackling attached to the end of my legs... people would pull horrified faces and ask what the hell happened... a good conversation starter therefore. why am i on this trip?... to harness the natural energy of the amazon and use it to help me find myself... of course.

so first stop was rio and i walked in upon a tanned swedish supermodel in a towel, cooling herself in front of the fan... ahhh camilla. we struck up a bit of conversation, the normal pleasantries, and before long she was moisturising... it was to get better...

sweet like candy
to my soul
sweet you rock
and sweet you roll

not much happened that night but when i woke up in the morning, it was a sight to behold. the first learning of my holiday... when sharing a room with hot swedish chicks who sleep naked, make sure you wake up early... however, a warning... you must, at all costs, avert your gaze from the dodgy americano with a moustache and armpit hair sleeping in the bunk under you... it´s just something about a chick with more chest hair than you that makes you feel less masculine.

so that day we headed off for christ the redeemer... for those of you who don´t know, thats the dude with his arms outstretched on top of the tallest hill in rio. white beaches stretched as far as the eye could see, only punctuated the great outcrops of green hills and unfortunately civilisation - the energy was therefore somewhat diluted.

it was friday so we decided to go out and drink. so we bought a bottle of bacardi and a 2 litre coke for around 4 quid, smashed it with the swedish girls (it seemed the right thing to do) and headed off to lapa - which is the local street party come night club area where all the indigenous people gather. we managed to dance the night away and before long the sun had risen and myself and pete were sitting out in the road waiting for steve to finish with the thing he had met. just an observation... you could be a inter-galactical space explorer having discovered 73 new forms of extra-terrestrial life and still not have come across anything quite as dodgy as what steve picked up that night in lapa.

the next day was the favalla - a kind of township come shanty town... but i won´t tell you too much about the days as they are boring.. and the nights are more interesting. so that night we decided to drink... because it was saturday. we got drunk as per the night before only minus the swedish chicks. we headed off to a more sophisticated club... we´ll call it club 6 (because that was it´s name) and found some more swedish chicks... and one german (with whom steve redeemed himself). unfortunately none of the swedish chicks were accomodating... my second learning... if you want to pull hot scandanavian women no ques asked, become a barman in a hostel in brazil... they will be throwing themselves at you quicker than hobnob throws name on a friday evening.

sunday - soccer in the maracana. 80/90 thousand people going mental... fights errupting everywhere (even with your own suppporters). i was glad to get out of there with my life...

then camilla left... then monday came and it was time to go. as per steve, "rio is the best city in the world... ever".

so we headed off the beautiful tropical island of ilha grande for couple of days of chilled relaxation on the beach... what were the odds?

we arrived and decided to have a relaxing beer... 27 beers later and a few dodgy card games with some norwegian birds and it was time to go to bed. we woke up late and had a planning meeting. as per normal we decided nothing and like typical accountants deferred the decision until we really had to make it. so we went to the beach with the norwegian girls, a finish girl and a usa girl. a 2 hr walk thorugh the jungle brought us out to one of the most beautiful deserted beaches you have ever seen. the energy was indeed strong there. we went for a swim and headed for the backline for some body surfing - that is until the local tsunami persuaded us that it wasn´t such a good idea. we headed back to shore... it was good for training camp* though.

* training camp - steve decided we need to be fit in order to scale the heights of the andes later in our trip. programme was 3000 press-ups, 6000 sit-ups, followed by a 40km run with our backpacks each day. needless to say the training is going well... if only we could cut out the beer.

that night got home and decided to have a quiet beer - everyone was polite and pleasant and we talked about our day. went to town for supper (loads of prawns and stuff) with team norway. got back to the hostel and it was like something out of a stephen king book - the twighlight zone - everyone was drunk and debaucherous. we had a secret ballad and decided to join them. we got boozed, danced on the bar/tables/chairs to jack johnson tunes, the barmen pulled the norwegian bird (see learning pt 2), and took part in all sorts of further tom-foolery.

woke up in the morning to discover from a roommate that there were 125 drinks unaccounted for and that the barmen were packing up and leaving. soon the memories of steve behind the bar handing out free drinks to anyone and everyone flooded back... the barmen had got drunk and left the bar unattended and paid with their jobs. steve wandered in and produced a scrumpled peice of paper that turned out to be our tab at the bar for the previous 2 nights. it only included one nights drinks and steve had torn it out of the book in order to... well i'm not too sure to be honest. we were told to expect some questions. a poll was taken and it was decided to head to the border asap. we made the ferry with a minute to spare... as per steve "that was the best island in the world... ever!".


now for the dash to the border...

we arrived at the port and headed off on a 7 hr bus ride to sao paulo... prob the 3rd biggest city in the world it is huge. were knackered so found a hostel, had supper and went to bed. woke up for an admin day and found cheapish flights from buenos airies to ecuador (we thought it wasn't best to fly from brazil for security reasons)... we did it. all it required now was a bus to the border (iguazu falls) and we were free. and so we left sao paulo... as per steve "this is the biggest city in the world... ever!".

arrived at iguazu falls in the morning and dashed off to the paraguan border hoping to fool the authorities who probably thought we were heading to argentina. got to the bridge and did the border run on foot over the bridge and into paraguay. we were free!!! until we caught our breath and looked around... paraguay is like umtata/soweto only 1 million time dodgier. we picked up the local newspaper and it was full of pictures of dead bodies and murders and suicides etc... as well as naked ladies... which we didn't mind. we decided we would be better off in a brazilian jail than in paraguay... so we headed back over the border.

bused to iguazu falls... which is probably the biggest falls in south america. it was one of the most naturally beautiful things i have ever seen... just beaten into 2nd place by camilla (the swedish girl). the natural energy is indeed strong there and i was just topping up when 2 more swedish birds walked past. steve decided this was no time to top up on natural energy... so we dashed after them and... well not much... we had a bus to catch to buenos airies so we couldn't talk long.


i've skipped out a night in between the brazil and argentina sides of the iguazu falls where we had the famous argentinian steak for the first time (it was good... and cheap) and had a night out in the local club la reserva where we boozed... because it was friday. anyway steve thought this was "the best town in the world... ever... it's almost as kiff as durban".

so we hopped on the bus to BA and here we are.

sorry this mail was soooo long... congrats if you got to the bottom of it without falling asleep.

hope all of you are well.

later
d

when you stop to consider
the days spent dreaming of a future
and say then, that was my life