the raging tach

i do have a tach goddammit!!! it's there - stretched out like a dead rat on my top lip. thick and furry. with a rank damp smell. and bits of old food attached. how can you possibly not see it??? i admit it may not be as stand-out as miguel's or frank's... but it defo is there... it just needs a few more days of love and careful nurturing in order to realise it's true potential. and then the girls are gonna love me man. no female can turn down a man with a thick tach... and the feeling it gives her when moved lightly down the inside of her thigh. it is the sign of a virile young male. strong genes. ready to mate.