reading festival 2006 (25.08.06 - 28.08.06)


a few of us went to the 2006 reading festival. here are some learnings. use them... don't use them...

• if you intend to arrive any later than thursday evening you will be camping in a rubbish dump. if possible get a mate to take your tent up the day before (thanks dangerous dave (www.wozafriday.com), phil, nils, etc for organising).
  
  
• do not lose your£185 ticket on the way from the train station to the farm. you will buy another ticket off a tout for £120... your mate will then find the one you lost... and you will end up flogging the ticket you have just bought for £80. for the non-mathematicians among you, that is a £40 loss before you have even entered.
  
  
• make sure you have a south african flag hoisted on a huge pole in the middle of your campsite... especially if the majority of people staying with you are kiwi. in order to avoid humiliation though, make sure the flag is not upside down... it is also an added bonus if sa actually win the rugby.
  
  
• you do not need gum boots (wellingtons)... but they sure do look good on young girls with mini-skirts.
  
  
• buy brandy from asda and sneak it into the music area... it's cheaper than the beer (£3 a pint).
  
  
• if you do buy the beer, keep the cardboard cups in your pocket... they are useful as porta-loo's when in the middle of a huge crowd and you can't be arsed to move. instructions: wait for song. unzip pants. place cup over johnson. relax. when you feel warm liquid on tip... emergency stop... you have filled the cup. zip up. carefully place filled cup between legs of person in front of you. back away to the left / right. commence dancing, singing, jumping. please note: do not attempt to do this if you are female.
  
  
• kaiser chiefs are awesome. you must catch their set no matter what. i predict a riot has turned into an anthem of the stature of angel / mr brightside.
  
  
• franz ferdinand are good if you are drunk. you can jump around a lot and not really listen to the music.
  
  
• make sure you have a tent that can survive the popular reading festival sport of tent diving. this should be an essential requirement whilst tent shopping prior to the festival.
  
  
• if your sleeping bag is bigger than your tent you have issues.
  
  
• you will wake up on saturday with a major headache.
  
  
• it is possible to braai (bbq) bacon and egg. it taste's pretty good as well. those kiwi's sure are resourceful.
  
  
• you will have your first beer of the day at around 11am. just to take the edge off.
  
  
• the toilets start to get pretty dodgy on saturday. the toilets are a big metal box with dozens of holes in the top. when you are bogging, you will see other people wazzing between your legs. when you are wazzing, you will see bog plopping. there are no honey suckers and the metal box will fill up by the end of the wend.
  
  
• if you ask girls to bare their breasts for photo's they are usually up for it - so do it.
  
  
• the first gig you will go to on sat will be capdown. the audience will go mental. it is too early in the morning and you will not be prepared for it. except dangerous dave... who will charge through the raging crowd to the middle of the tent, climb halfway up the scaffolding, and hang off with one hand while the masses below him chant "jump, jump, jump". he didn't jump. he wasn't that drunk yet.
  
  
  
• jet are ten years behind their time... they sound like a combination of acdc and oasis.
  
  
• feeder are the bomb... can't believe so few people know them. make sure you are right at the front for this one. check out the video on www.wozafriday.com
  
  
  
• crowd surfing can be dangerous to you and others. please don't do it.
  
  
• automatic have one song. it's catchy. but at the end of the day it's shit. what's that coming over the hill? huh?
  
  
• the streets are muck.
  
  
• you'll be tired on saturday evening but you should prob stay to watch the arctic monkeys and the muse. should you choose to retire early, it is a good time to have a bog.
  
  
• sunday you'll wake up pretty refreshed... unless you've latched onto two aussie birds... in which case you won't have gone to sleep.
  
  
• once again you will braai your bacon and have an early morning beer (but this time it will be to get you in the mood).
  
  
• you should sit around chilling for most of the day on sunday, basking in the sun and preparing for the awesome line-up on the main stage in the evening.
  
  
• the space cakes work if you have more than three.
  
  
• wearing a pink hat can help your friends find you in a very big crowd but it will make you look gay. you should not wear this hat in the slayer mosh pit under any circumstances... you will get smashed in the nose. it will be very painful and there will be a lot of blood.
  
  
  
• it is customary for the crowd to attempt to bottle / golf-ball at least one act off the main-stage every year. this will be any boyband wannabe rockers with a podgy and slightly feminine lead singer. they will turn the crowd around though when they sing "i'm not okay" first up... the crowd will identify with their own individual insecurities and sympathise.
  
  
• placebo are friggin awesome. a friend in need is a friend indeed. a friend with weed is better.
  
  
• if you are in a band on main stage, it is a good idea to stage a technical fault. the big screen will zoom in on women and these very same ladies will get their tops off. the crowd will assist in the process by booing the ladies who fail to remove their tops. goddamn spoil-sports.
  
  
• seeing pearl jam will be one of the highlights of your life. eddie vedder will get well into it and the crowd will rock beyond all imagination. even without daughter, elderly lady, and nothingman, they will play the set of all sets. they will play dissident. you will go to bed a happy person.
  
  
  
• it is best to get up and leave early on monday.
  
  
• you'll be super tired and you will not have changed for three days.
  
  
• but you would have had a pretty good time.