Kirk's 29th Birthday - 16.06.06

last friday was kirk's 29th birthday...

and therefore we went to a chinese karaoke bar in soho. of course one should never need an excuse to go to karaoke. karaoke is great. and one of my favourite drinking activities. as you may have guessed, i am a very experienced karaokier. i know my stuff... a karaoke philosopher of sorts... and i can tell you, the very essence of karaoke is being ameteur, and being very drunk, and being rubbish... there is nothing worse than heading out on a karaoke night only to find that the mic is being dominated by cliff richard wannabe's and celine dion clones... it's kinda like being that 16 year old kid again and going to a house-party where all your 16 year old girl classmates have been picked up by those skinny 19 year old dudes with oily long blonde hair and 1300 citi golfs - hang out with people your own age you cradle-snatching loser freaks!!! (sorry... obviously a bit of pent up anger there). anyway, being a professional (former firkin karaoke resident), and being stone-cold sober, and being a fantastic singer (despite being a little flat), i sat back and watched other less vocally-gifted mortals do their thing. it was bad... but it was fun...

special mention must go to the following:

kirk and dave - kind of a saffer ant and dec duo... only perhaps a little more gay. they did a great job in keeping the crowd entertained with some really strange dance moves and stuff.

porto - sort of a portuguese hasselhoff. he found his niche in cheesy 80's songs.

dopey - a south african version of gareth gates... he has the hair, just not the gappy teeth. he likes to sing songs that contain words such as "love", and "butterfly", and "sunshine".

wiggy - a younger, shorter version of leo sayer. he has the voice of an angel.

ryan - the human version of a wounded cat. what the hell was that?

i'm not sure when the karaoke activities ended (according to wozafriday, they ended when kirk stuck the mic down his pants)... but soon enough we ended up in some club in soho. the brandy and cokes started to flow... and the spanish girls started to communicate in english... apparently... although i'm not quite sure... but there was communication... apparently... although i'm not quite sure. there was some bumping, and there was some grinding. and then the other dudes decided to head out to fisher's regular late-night dive in hoxton... with the spanish ladies and a few other aussie birds in tow. i was not about to get fleeced at that dodgy hole again... so i headed home. i was safely home and tucked into bed at 1.30ish... dreaming.

happy birthday kirk... hope you had an awesome one champ.

ps. actually... i'm really bad at karaoke. people who were unfortunate enough to be there, still cringe at the version of "i think we're alone now" that frank and myself performed at firkin all those years ago. it effectively got us banned from ever singing there again.